很多同学在托福写作文段展开的时候,都有疑惑,是否可以举个体例子?如果举了,会不会分低?OG<官方指南>(第212页)就给我们展示了这样的写作方法:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.First, confidence is the most important aspect of a friendship or a marriage, or anything like that, so, once it is lost, the whole thing goes down in a way that no one can bear it. To avoid losing confidence, there is only one way, telling the truth, lying will just help throwing it away. For example, a couple decided to go out on the weekend, but the man has a party to go with his friends to where he can not take his girlfriend and then he lies to her saying that he is sick and can not go to the date. She undertands him and they do not see each other in that weekend, but he goes to the party and has much fun. Suppose on monday, the girl talks to a friend that saw him at the party and asked why did not she go with him. She found out the true and all confidence was lost, the basis for their relation is now gone and what happens next is that they break up or if they do not, he will persist on lyes and someday it will end.官方的评语是:It clearly develops reasons why lying is a bad thing, with .... , a hypothetical story in paragraph 2, and..... All this amounts to solid development of the idea....(在第二个段里使用了一个假设的故事, 文章很清晰地展开了撒谎是件坏事的原因. 这些都是对观点的有说服力的展开.)可以看出,官方是认可写个体的例子的,即使这个例子是假设的 hypothetical 也没有关系。更不会因此得低分。问题又出来了,有的同学会说:我自己写了个体例子,感觉分数低了?原因在于,很多同学写个体例子的时候,没有在例子中进行因果推论, 没有对观点进行清晰地支撑(clearly develops reasons/arguments.)
同学的举例:以我朋友和我为例。我朋友是我们年级第一,而我只是中等水平。所以我就问我朋友他是怎么学的。他说,他并不会死记硬背,平时也不会花很多时间去学习,只是在考前多背一背。我就学习了他的方法。当我考试的时候,我好多题都不会,成绩不好。原因并不是是写了个体例子,而是因为这个个体例子中并没有体现reason 和因果推论reasoning. 只是按照时间先后顺序把一个时间记叙了一下。没有clearly地说明“我”学了别人方法成绩仍不好的原因到底是什么。是“我”没有学到位?还是“我朋友”没有告诉我真话?还是因为“我朋友”的学习方法并不适合我?为什么不适合我?正确的写法应该是:…我就学习了他的方法。但是因为我学习基础不好,在考前才像我朋友一样开始背一背,根本都背不完。所以当我考试…..这样才算是构成了能支撑分论点(“适合一个人的方法可能并不适合另外一个人”)的论证因果论证。
论点:读完大学并不是成功的保障。有时候,辍学是一个更好的选择。举例:乔布斯从里德学院辍学,成立了苹果公司,获得了巨大的成功;比尔盖茨,从哈佛大学辍学,成立微软公司,成为了世界首富;马克扎伯,从哈佛大学辍学,创立了Facebook, 也取得了巨大成功。