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雅思写作如何摆脱万年5.5?

来源:朗阁教育 2019-09-25 编辑:yawen 雅思托福0元试学

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对于雅思考生而言,听说读写四个单科中较难*的当属写作了。由于大部分国外大学单科要求成绩都是6分,对于输出项听力和阅读而言,难度较低。但对于写作口语而言,不少考生都卡在5.5分上,拉不到6分。

  对于雅思考生而言,听说读写四个单科中较难*的当属写作了。由于大部分国外大学单科要求成绩都是6分,对于输出项听力和阅读而言,难度较低。但对于写作口语而言,不少考生都卡在5.5分上,拉不到6分。。而且相信大多数5.5分的考生都有种感受——感觉想说的一两句就写完了,没什么内容可以写。而且字数怎么也总是卡在250单词上下。其根本原因是表述太宽泛,及因此导致的论证不充分。下文中朗阁海外考试研究中心的老师们将列举考生经常写到的三组太宽泛的表达方式,并分析这三组表达为何宽泛。然后拉供*范文中的具体化表达并进行解析。让考生清晰地知道自己作文中的论证问题,并知道应该如何拉升。

  常见宽泛表达1:

  Damaging cultural traditions has many negative effects.

  破坏文化传统有很多消极影响。

  解析:

  “culture”(文化)这个概念太宽泛了,那么该如何具体化解释“文化”呢?建议考生从两个角度进行论证:一个是结合另外一个话题——“tourism”(旅游),因为旅游跟文化这两个话题紧密相关,且旅游是个很接地气的话题。另一个是衣、食、住、节日,及语言(clothing, foods, architectures, festivals, and languages)。如下文所示:

  Let us not forget either that ①traditional product, whether these be medicines, cosmetics, toys, clothes, utensils or food, provide employment for local people. The spread of multinational products can often ②bring in its wake a loss of jobs, as people turn to buying the new brand, perhaps thinking it more glamorous than the one they are used to. This eventually puts old-school craftspeople out of work. (C10T3 Task2 Model Answer)

  …, ③tourism numbers may also be affected, as travellers become disillusioned with finding every place just the same as the one they visited previously. ④To see the same products in shops the world over is boring, and does not impel visitors to open their wallets in the same way that trinkets or souvenirs unique to the particular area do. (C10T3 Task2 Model Answer)

  解析:

  第①句中“traditional products”(传统产品)先对“culture”这个概念进行了具体化,紧接着又将“products”具体包括哪些进行了说明,即“medicines, cosmetics, toys, clothes, utensils or food”。并在此基础上进行了拓展(即,第②句),写出了破坏文化多样性的后果具体是什么,即,“bring in its wake a loss of jobs”(导致下岗)。原因是什么呢?作者再次解释:(因为)人们转而去*新品牌,可能觉得这要比他们过去使用的品牌更好。

  第③句是破坏文化多样性的另一个缺点——“tourism numbers may also be affected”(游客人数也会被影响)。并在第③句中给出了原因——“travellers become disillusioned with finding every place just the same as the one they visited previously”((因为)这跟他们之前去过的地方完全相同)。第④句进一步解释,因为全世界的产品都相同的话,游客就不会掏钱消费了。也就是说,这带来了经济损失。

  具体化论证方法总结:

  插入语(, whether these be …)

  因果(as)

  比较级(more … than …)

  类比(… just the same as …; … in the same way that …)

  常见宽泛表达2:

  There are many alternatives to corporal punishment.

  体罚有很多替换方法。

  解析:

  考生习惯性写“替换方法”、“很多其它方法”,及“对……有重要影响”等,这些表述都很宽泛。因为所有雅思写作Task2的写作要求都是让考生写影响,所以如若要写“影响”或“方法”,考生需要写出“影响”或“方法”的具体内容来。

  … teachers and parents can use ①a variety of methods to discipline their young charges, such as detention, withdrawal of privileges, and time-out. ②Making the punishment fit the crime is a useful notion, which would see children being made to pick up rubbish they have dropped, clean up graffiti they have drawn, or apologise to someone they have hurt. In these ways responsibility is developed in the child, which leads to much better future behavior than does punishment. (C10T1 Task2 Model Answer)

  解析:

  第①句中“a variety of methods”*(作者)紧跟着用“, such as”进行了举例论证。同样,在第②句中“Making the punishment fit the crime is a useful notion”(奖惩分明是个有用的概念(方法))后,作者用一个“, which”引导的非限制性定语从句对“奖惩分明”这一方法进行了解释,即,儿童随手都垃圾的话就自己捡起来,随手涂鸦的话就自己清理掉,或者向他们伤害过的人道歉。

  具体化论证方法总结:

  举例(, such as …)

  列举(, which would see …)

  常见宽泛表达3:

  enhance the public awareness of leading a healthy lifestyle

  拉高人们过一种健康生活方式的意识

  解析:

  考生习惯性使用“enhance the public awareness of …”(拉高人们的……的意识)这一表达,除了上述表达以外,还会常常写到比如“enhance the public awareness of environmental protection”、“enhance the public awareness of obeying laws”,及“enhance the public awareness of recycling garbages”等。这样的话,读起来特别像模板,所以得分比较低。正确做法应该是,把人们的意识是如何拉高的写出来。如下文所示:

  ①Interest in sport is not universal, and additional facilities might simply attract the already fit, not those who most need them. ②Physical activity could be encouraged relatively cheaply, for example by installing exercise equipment in parks, as my council has done. ③This has the added benefit that parents and children often use them together just for fun, which develops a positive attitude to exercise at an early age. (C9T3 Task2 Model Answer)

  解析:

  在第②句中,*拉供了“拉高人们意识”的两种方法,一种是“be encouraged relatively cheaply”,另一种是“by install exercise equipment in parks”。

  同时,为了使得论证充分,所以*在第②句的基础上需要往前拓展出第①句(即,“be encouraged relatively cheaply”和“by installing exercise equipment in parks”的原因——不是每个人都对运动有兴趣),往后拓展出第③句(即,“be encouraged relatively cheaply”和“by installing exercise equipment in parks”的结果——让家庭成员一起玩儿,融洽家庭气氛;同时,还能让儿童从小养成锻炼身体的好习惯。)。

  具体化论证方法总结:

  转折(, not)

  举例(, for example)

  解释(that引导的同位语从句)

  因果(, which引导的非限制性定语从句)

  通过朗阁海外考试研究中心的老师们对上述三个例子的分析,相信考生不难发现,论证具体化的方法有很多。总之,纵向的话需要考生具体解释,常用到的论证方法有:解释、举例、列举等;横向可以往前拓展原因,往后拓展结果,常用到的论证方法有:因果、转折、目的等。同时,2019年大作文的考题趋势有个特点,就是跨话题,因此考生也可以结合别的话题,比较容易结合的话题有culture和tourism以及building,education和work,advertisement和children,其中technology可以结合所有其它话题出题,government也可以结合所有其它话题进行出题。


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